If music be the... oh what was it again?

Music, music, where for art thou music?
I miss you
I love you
I am trying to understand you
I want you
where are you?

That hole is getting bigger again and the ache follows. My mind is so taken up with being 'busy making other plans' that the source of what I think (?) is the whole f*&^%$g point of my being, is mournfully silent, laying in wait in a cold empty little corner of my house. I hear you. I will get to you soon.

Where's my inner minger?

Sabine flew into my life about eleven years ago... and I hadn't realised until last week that she is one of the main players in my musical drama. She has a voice that I can use and words that flow with feelings I prefer to conceal within riddles and metaphors. She is the mediator between me and my songs and my (hoped for) audience. She is brave and tells her story with a vulnerability I rarely allow.

Listening to Watching Stars Die last week, and when I heard the lyrics of the first verse -
It is a blush you paint upon my cheek
For my virtue cannot be restored
Oooh I tremble as a lady chaste
Left to imagine your chamber's secrets, your chamber's rewards
it struck me that it was Sabine again. This time as the rapturous lover, unbridled and free of the past. She has escaped the King (from 'Sabine') and is with 'him'... for now at least.

I am a Romantic. However, I kinda feel like it is an age of crassness over Romance, with a tidal wave of media that pulls no punches in the 'let it all hang out dept' with shows like the Geordie Shore et al and Romance seems remote to me... a sinking island losing ground in the middle of the Pacific somewhere. Sex and tits and orange asses are the landscape in FULL view at the moment, where minger's abound, leaving a trail of glitter and vomit, and I love the crassness, it is hilarious... even funnier when they are so saddened by the result of their actions (well, we all know how that feels) but it ain't got nuffin' to do with lurve. Poor things. Actually, that would be an adventure - what sort of song would I write if I channeled my inner minger?

But I'd prefer to be a Worldie!

A New day and a new way

The first trailer for King Kong The Musical

I am such an excitable girl! This has me doing 'happy dances' all over the place! I still am in awe of the fact that I had something to do with this amazing production. Magick really does happen and as so often seems the case - when you least expect it.
My trip to Sydney had a twofold agenda, but at no point did it cross my mind that Marius would ask me to sing for the soundtrack. Something to ponder there, why did I not consider that as an outcome? I am a singer. Oh groan, more chips on the shoulder that need flicking off. But aside from the chips, which I can slot away in a drawer marked 'wtf', the recording session was a bit of a catharsis for me. When we first began, I turned to Marius and said 'I really am nervous, sorry' to which he replied with somewhat a bemused expression on his face 'don't be scared, you are with me, you're in safe hands'. His hands are far better than 'safe' they are a guiding light. That's a lovely memory - Marius' beautiful hands conducting my voice. We were both elated by the outcome, which is soooooo nice! Then the cherry got plonked on top! The next day I had to visit The Theatre Royal again, to sign some release papers etc and Marius had left a message for me to come a little earlier as they were going to run through a first time full rehearsal. Far @#$%ing out! So there be little old me, sitting on those plush velvet thrones among the gilt and red of this iconic theatre, and my heart suddenly skips a beat (or three!) as I hear my voice! I was so stunned I just looked at Marius in a speechless reverie. What I saw on stage and what I heard from the stage blew me away. How many 'thank you's' can you express? But here is another - 'thank you Marius'.

Really, not enough can be said for my time back in what I consider to be my hometown. It was bliss, it was peaceful, it was nostalgic, it was eye opening, it was a revelation and it was FUN! The drive down was hideous and scarey, but the rest... bliss.

Abundantia, my delightfully encouraging Tarot Card for this week! Her magick appears often lately.

Getting to have an amazing meal at The Bridge Room restaurant, spending such a beautiful and much needed time with my gorgeous cousin Cindy, her boy Callum and her lovely boyfriend. Cuddling the newest arrivals to our family, my darling cousin Leonie and her man Barrie's babies, so beautiful! Catching up for a quick cuppa with my Auntie Dodie and uncle George and being awestruck by their amazing home! Having a stroll around Bondi and breathing that oh so familiar air. Being spoiled and pampered at Vibe Rushcutter's Bay... all gave me a renewed outlook on my life, my dreams, my family, my past and what I want to be my future. Another 'thank you' to the lovely friends ans family who supported me in taking this trip. Once upon a time my life would move at the drop of a hat, but lately it has been far too still. Inertia can be freaky. Change, which is something I used to crave, had for a long time been a terrifying prospect (no matter how subtle it's movement). I have so much to rekindle in myself and that is now seeming like an exciting adventure.